Even when we have many things to be grateful for and about, even if our life is blessed and on purpose, we still live in a world with great power to influence our daily lives. We are not islands. With pandemics, political conflict, harsh weather, and overwhelming fires its hard to remain unscathed no matter how intentionally we try to live our lives.
I constantly rely on my relationship with my Horses to help bring me back to center, back to balance and return my focus to my personal True North. Even though this helps tremendously, sometimes the mental and emotional exhaustion crowds its way into this sacred space. Even though I cherish my Horses and what they contribute to my life and my Souls purpose, Horses are a lot of work, physically, financially and otherwise. They are, after all, free thinking individuals.
Enchantress has refused metal shoes. She stood still for one shoe to be applied, and after the farrier set the hoof down, she licked and chewed and looked at her hoof. When Laura attempted to apply the other shoe, Chant made it very clear that ‘it was not for her’ and refused to cooperate further. Because I cannot find boots that will stay on in water or riding at speed, I am in a quandary about hoof protection. Her front hooves are flat and thin soled, so she must have protection.
Enchantress is very willing; she is brave and forward so we normally can work through anything together while riding or in hand. She has had two terrifying and injurious trailer incidents and she still loads and unloads beautifully. I have found that as long as her perspective is considered she is very agreeable. Yet, she has said no to traditional shoes, I will respect that she has said no to this one thing.
So now, in addition to all of the other demanding and harsh elements of life right now, I have spent hours and hours researching alternative hoof protection. Even though my Horses are a tremendous part of what sustains my life, this is exhausting. I am having to learn, in detail, one more thing. Through all my trial and error of learning how to heat weld rubber tabs onto composite shoes, fitting and application, Chant has been surprisingly patient… its backbreaking for me.
I have a choice, I can react with anger and frustration over her refusal to accept nail on shoes, or I can go deeper into our relationship and see where it will lead. I constantly try to pick the latter. And it is not always easy. I am not a farrier and learning this process is overwhelming. It’s exhausting. I don’t even know if they will work in the long run. Yet here we are, facing a new frontier of hoof protection together, and together is what I want to be, not separated by anger, expectations or blame. In spite of the difficulty in this venture, I know that our foundation is being strengthened. I know she recognizes that I heard her and that I will do my best to understand and participate in her experience of hoof protection.
If I welcome it, I can receive benefit from allowing my Horse to encourage expansion in my perspective of creating a broader conversation in our relationship, or I can embrace the difficulty of this project and stymie our relationship. Perhaps the underlying benefit of this endeavor is not about hoof protection at all, it is about walking deeper into our communication. It’s about honoring her opinion and increasing my ability to listen and understand. To find more common ground, because as different species, finding common ground and creating common language is where we learn to connect Between the Worlds.
I live an a very big Horse community and I receive lots of opinions and advice on how to ‘make’ Chant get shod, and though most of these comments are well intended, this too is exhausting. Trying to explain my perspective of this specific situation is exhausting. There are many accomplished equestrians here and when I measure their success with my mostly self-educated experience of horse husbandry it’s easy to doubt myself. Yet, when I observe their relationship with their horses verses mine, I choose mine. Successes or mistakes my Horses and I remain connected and committed, its right for us.
My soulution to eliminate this express source of exhaustion is to free myself from participating in explaining or defending my perspective of hoof protection. To give myself permission to honor this decision between me and Enchantress without the need to explain or justify this new endeavor, regardless of the outcome. While I know I risk judgment and some ridicule should this particular project fail, it was never between them and me, it is between me and my Horse. And in truth, that is all that matters.
I cannot control the weather, the political climate, the pandemic, or the wildfires that bring exhausting fallouts that infiltrate our lives, but I can control my commitment to honor my relationship with my Horses. Without apology, defensiveness, or explanation. And I can use this situation to inspire and fortify my energy, my emotions, my thinking, and my Spiritual journey.
The Invitation
When you find yourself exhausted from internal or external influences in your life, or conflict with your Horse, step back and observe which of these can be reimagined through a different lens. Which of these can you control? Which of these REALLY matter to a life well lived? Pick the one(s) that you have influence over and envisage them as pliable. Become fluid in your relationship to these things, ideas, people, or circumstance and use it to sustain and refresh parts of yourself that are exhausted. Release all other sources of exhaustion. Letting go is not giving in, it is malleable intelligence, it is freeing yourself from things that drain and pressure your attention and integrity, things that exhaust you. Without the constant strain of exhaustion, we allow inspiration and vigor to infuse our future.
Delaya Diana © 2020