Horse Wisdom Through Disappointments

Horses have an amazing way of teaching us through our Human expectations and disappointments. Recently I had made plans to attend a 3-day equestrian event at a beautiful campground, I had planned diligently and eagerly awaited the event.

This was to be Chants first organized ride with over 100 horses participating, so I expected there might be some distraction, but I was to be riding with friends so she would be fine. Circumstance had other plans and we ended up starting the ride alone. Within 5 minutes of leaving, I realized that I had forgotten my phone, so we went back and got it. Though it was an organized ride, parts of it are still remote and this was necessary. 

This time as we left, being surrounded by strange horses and riders, her anxiety took over. For over an hour, nothing I did or did not do seemed to help. I packed up and came home, I was there less than 24 hours. I felt like I had spent a lot of money and effort to buy myself a huge disappointment.

That evening when I fed the Horses, I was still frustrated and felt distanced from Chant. She has been ridden for 4 years now and I expected more from her. I felt justified to expect more from her.

She, however, seemed to be completely over it. I was irritated by that, and… I was intrigued. It brought home to me the importance of separating yourself from your shortcomings and mistakes and not identifying with them. I know she understood her part in the demise of our attempt to ride, but she did not own it as a part of who she is. She saw no need to let that carry over after the event, or into our relationship.

This is a part of what she has to teach me. She offers me a mirror to this situation. I tend to identify with my mistakes, and my shortcomings, I feel tremendous responsibility about the results or lack thereof. And I let it hinder my relationship with myself and with Divine. I somehow believe that I cannot be that easily forgiven, excused, or understood, so I must feel the effects of my error for a time before being allowed to move on. Enchantress does not identify with my addiction to penance.

Chant sees clearly who she is and who we are despite of a negative experience between us. And I am much more forgiving and understanding of her than I am of myself.

This experience holds significant information for me. Because I believe Chant is a part of my Spiritual Journey, clearly, I am being invited to discern between who I am, and the times that I miss the mark. And embrace the value in being solid, forgiving, compassionate and resilient with myself, the way I am normally with her.

Her message from this situation is basic psychology, and I know of this theory, yet I have not been able to apply it. But hearing it though my Horse causes me to take notice of it. Horses do this often; they act out situations that need attention within us. We may not take action to heal ourselves, but because we value them so deeply, if we see an example coming from our Horse, we pay attention.

Does this make the ride disaster all ok? Not really because she suffered from anxiety, and I suffered because I could not help. But the message here is clear and powerful, and I do believe that this message could only come from a challenging situation, its significance could not have been realized through pleasant peaceful endeavors.